I'm in search of a man who knows how to listen to the songs from the deepest part of my soul. He should listen intently and dance with it. It would be nice to have someone who'll look straight into my eyes and knows right away if I'm fine or not.

Me: 30-year-old female with a generally positive outlook on life, living alone, no piercing, zero tattoos, one car, one cat, and one (slightly used) vagina.

Almost all of my closest friends are either engaged or married already. And then there's me who is still afraid of falling in love and being committed to one lad. With that, I don't plan on falling in love soon. Instead, I plan on finding someone who...

I know that I am old but I hope that I'm not yet old enough for this kind of place. Anyway, I only came here to find someone who can make me feel genuine bliss under the sheets. I desire someone who can make me cum before I can say knife.

Working all day takes off all the hours I could have for myself. All I can do is beat the bean on lonely nights. All I want is someone to chat with who could get me through these nights. If you think you can keep me company, hit me up!

Afternoon tea is boring! I don't know why it's expected that ladies as old as me would enjoy them, but I'd rather have fish and chips plus a pint of Guinness. The icing on the cake would be to have a hot and heavy shag with a lad at the end of the ni...